god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
