At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
