I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
