pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
