Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
