I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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