hell yes lets make some ravioli
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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