i jhust puked up my retainher.
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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