So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
