This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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