Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
