i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
