BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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