Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
