Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
