a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
