Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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