Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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