Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Enjoy the penises
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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