he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
