normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
