google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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