id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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