so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
