Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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