Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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