The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
