If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
