I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
