super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
