So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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