Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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