Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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