I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
