Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
