I'd wear matching sweaters with you
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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