So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
