My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
