you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
