Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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