i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
