apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
