I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
