I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
