I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
