Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
