i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
i think my cat just said my name.
Randomize
