We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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