Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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