I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
