I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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